Annual Physicals Times Three

Yesterday was the day. I never know if it is smarter to go the the doctor three times with each kid privately or just suck it up and take them all at the same time. It sure saves me time to take them all together but I'm not sure if the headache is worth it.

We were greeted at the office with a big "Hi boys!" They actually send two nurses back to weigh and chart and check blood pressure and all that goes along with a physical. I'm not sure if this is to make things run more smoothly or just because they want to get us out of there.

While my kids were jumping and singing and generally making spectacles of themselves, one of the nurses was laughing and saying how much she always enjoys our visits. Really? She must just be nice.

First Berkeley got his temperature taken. He opted for under the arm. Then Parker, again under the arm. When it was Griffin's turn she asked him what whether he wanted the thermometer in his mouth or under his arm. He literally rolled his eyes at her and said, "Arm. OF COURSE!!! Don't you know about germs?"

I was reminded at this point about the time growing up that my parents were gone and my little brother starting not feeling well and wanted me to take his temperature. I have no idea how old we were but I do distinctly remember getting the only thermometer I knew about in the house and sticking it in his mouth. He immediately spit it out and fairly freaked out. I guess I'd used a sheep rectal thermometer. I don't know if my dad washes those things off after each use but I have my theories!

On we go yesterday. There was some discussion of whether or not their vaccinations were up to date. This elicted a look of absolute panic on Berkeley's face. He tried to be brave but, well, he's just not. Griffin on the other hand is. Griffin told Berkeley that if he needed a shot he'd better be good or the doctor would have to use duct tape and gorilla glue to hold him down.

Now I've been with Berkeley when he's had shots and I've heard stories about myself at this age and I know that there is no way that duct tape and gorilla glue would do anything to keep this kid down if there was a needle coming towards him. It takes an army.

As if Berkeley wasn't insulted enough at the possibility of shot, the nurse handed him a cup and told him to go pee in it. That didn't go over very well. Neither did the suggestion that I could help him. (That offer, I will admit, was more for my viewing pleasure. I have no idea how exactly I would help him but I was pretty certain that he would refuse and with spectacle. I was right.)

After that, things calmed down and I was treated to a rousing rendition of the SpongeBob SquarePants song while waiting for the doc. He rushed through the exams and got us out the door just in time to meet Daddy in the hallway. Where was he when I needed him?

I think next year we will divide and conquer. Either that or I will have girlfriends lined up for a margarita immediately after.

Just this morning a friend and I were texting about life, balancing our businesses and raising children. She said in her parting text, "Buckle your seatbelt and hang on for a wild ride." Indeed.